Currently Listening: Morning View

I owe Spotify. The playlist “Your Summer Rewind” had Incubus’s “Aqueous Transmission” as the first track, and I didn’t get beyond that. I switched to Morning View and it felt like a breath of fresh air.

This summer has been incredibly difficult for reasons I’m not really ready to write about. I have hardly put pen to paper physically and barely have virtually. I’ve been busy planning events with the Cecil County Democrats Club and starting an Instagram account for my dog. But I haven’t been able to write like I wanted to, and I haven’t been able to face the “feels” I’ve had since May.

Morning View changed that. I filled a few pages in my journal. I took a mental trip back to high school, but not the way I have been. Since getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I tend to look back on high school and college and wonder what could have been. Music works differently though, and it took me back to playing Rollercoaster Tycoon and driving around in my old Jetta.

This was a softer album for Incubus compared to Make Yourself, and chill songs like “11am” and “Aqueous Transmission” complement harder songs like “Blood on the Ground.” The guitar riffs are so typical of the early aughts without being too pop or too rock. I don’t know why, but this album just hits the spot.

There’s also the inclusion of “Wish You Were Here,” which became an important song in 2001. It was the year of September 11, but a week after that our high school lost students in a car accident and that song because an anthem, a lifesaver, a way for all of us to express ourselves and convey a sentiment that we couldn’t otherwise put into words. It was a traumatic September in Central PA. And as we approach September, hearing that song brings those memories back too. Bittersweet, I guess, but part of the musical journey.

So thank you, Spotify, for sending me down this road. It brightened my August and took me back 16 years.

Whirlwind Wedding

Everyone warned me that my wedding would be a blur, and it was.

I will talk more about the road to the wedding another time, but I’m going to take this opportunity to reflect on the actual ceremony and reception.

A photo posted by @doktanibblez on

Daniel and I picked the venue first, and after that things sort of fell into place. We got married at Historic Shady Lane in York County, Pennsylvania. It’s a sprawling property with rustic charm that reminds me of a combination of his parents’ backyard and Longwood Gardens. We had our first look in the ruins of an old bandstand on the property after we got ready separately in the bridal cottage and men’s den. Our ceremony was in the old rose garden, which has an old stone path and a sundial. We processed from the main house, across a small bridge to our friend David playing “Hallelujah” and “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” on acoustic guitar. I barely remember hearing it, but I’m sure it was beautiful. Our other friend David officiated the ceremony, and his words received many compliments from our guest—but I’d have to consult my gmail to remember what he said. Our vows touched on our love, our silliness and our respect for each other and then we kissed. And, in the eyes of our friends and family, the knot was officially tied. We recessed to David #1 playing “The Girl” by City and Colour and our guests descended upon the property’s greenhouse for cocktail hour. We snagged pictures where we could with various family members and each other. Hugs and hellos and beer and lawn games until we finally lined up to enter the reception—everything was a blur.

Our first dance was to Beck and St. Vincent’s cover of “Never Tear Us Apart,” a song that so summarizes how I feel about Dan and our relationship. It was a beautiful moment we shared, spinning around the tent in front of our friends and family, chatting and sweating and wondering how long this song could possibly be. In that moment, though, I felt like no one else was there. It was just us. I think that came through in the pictures—and I’ve only seen pictures taken by friends so far.

A photo posted by kbbmarch (@kbbmarch) on

Where we received some of the biggest compliments? Food and drink. Look, if we waited this long to get married and we were doing it at a perfect venue, we wanted our friends to enjoy it. Our menu included pulled pork and pit beef, macaroni and cheese, baked beans and potato salad from Sensenig’s Meats. We served craft beer from Pizza Boy Brewing and Tröeg’s. And instead of cake we had Maple Donuts. Yep, you heard me. Donuts. We fed each other a cookies and cream donut, which proved to be entertaining since it was cream filled.

Our friends also danced their hearts out and played with lawn games—the most popular being bean bags (can we please just stop calling it cornhole?) and the giant “jumbling towers”/Jenga that Dan’s dad created from 2x4s.

I look back on the night and wish it could have lasted longer. I wished I could have spent more time with friends—especially those who traveled across the country to see us. It seems like I hardly spoke to anyone for more than a few seconds—even my own grandparents. But knowing that all of these amazing people were there to support me on this next step in my life fills my heart with an indescribable amount of joy.

So yes, my wedding day was a blur, and I’m only just starting to recover from the heat exhaustion and overall exhaustion a week later. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.